Live Miriella F.A. Choute
March 12, 2013
Essay #1, Draft # 2
Chicken
Pox the Terrible Disease
Because chicken pox is
contagious disease, I was contaminated from my neighbor. I didn't know that
until my mother had seen something strange in my body, I was under the weather. Since I began to have these symptoms, such
as the little pox, I felt my life turnover. Every day, I had to take the shower
early because it was too hot I might feel so terrible. Each time I looked at my
body, I saw the patches had become bigger than before they were all over my
body. I decided to never go out and touch something or someone.
One day, my friends had visited me,
I looked so horrible, and they took me out for fun. I regretted that day a lot.
Everything began worse; I had itchy bumps all that night. They had begun so big
my head couldn’t lie on my pillow even though it was soft. I was in pain all
over my body; I had headache and high fever. The day after ,my mother wasn’t at
home when I saw her I felt happy because I knew she would help me .That day ,I felt weak like I lacked
of power. Luckily I was she took me to the clinic. The doctor gave some
antibiotics and vaccine.
Even though, I had taken all
medicines, I felt feverish and weak. It was so hard I couldn’t wash and brush my
hair easily. I did take more than one month for my complete restoring. But I
still had dark spots on my body. I had felt so embarrassed when I went out.
Afterward, I will never forget that
experience because I had an idea how somebody might feel when he had a harder
disease than chicken pox. If you had
never been sick before, you wouldn’t be able to understand someone. I think the
worst thing you can have in the world it is illness after that everything is
fine because you are healthy.
HI Miriella,
ReplyDeleteWhat an awful experience! I really like how you discussed your emotional state as well as the symptoms of the disease. It's bad enough being so sick, but how awful to have your friends laugh at you because of your appearance!
I'm a little confused about the very first sentence, especially because it is a fragment. I think you could probably take it out. Were you living in that big house with other people because you were going to school in that city/town? Did someone else there have chickenpox? I'm a little confused about the connection. Can you also explain what you mean in the last sentence of the first paragraph, "...realized how hard it was to have this disease."
Let's start with the introduction and take it from there!