Tuesday, March 12, 2013

my badly experience about sun stroke

Crystal Wang
March 12, 2013
Essay 1, Draft 1
                                                My Badly Experience about Sun Stroke

            When I was a teenager, I went to countryside in a bright, intense hot summer. I got a sun stroke for first experience in my life. The illness came unconsciously.  It gave me a deep impression because it was a terrible experience. It broke all my good feeling about summer.
            The illness started with a hot feeling. I didn’t notice that it was an early symptom of the illness. I thought that it just because it was a summer time. I didn’t care about this ‘’ normal’’ feeling. That’s why I went straight to bed without see a doctor after watching TV.
            One of typical symptoms of sun stroke was fever. My feeling about hot was going extremely obvious during the mid-night. I started sweating, and my pajamas got wet. My body temperature was high. I could not sleep. In fact, I turned around and around on bed like swing clock whole night. It felt like I was in spoiled water. My breath came shortly, and I felt that there was no enough oxygen in my bedroom. The fever also made me to hallucinate that I was walking in a huge desert under the intense heat.
            Another typical symptom of this illness was headache and dizziness.  The headache made me feel that my head was constantly beat by someone. In addition, I got dizziness. Everything in my view was moving. I looked at a calendar on wall, everything tiny number seemed dancing. It made my eyes tired that it couldn’t open widely. I also couldn’t walk straightly because my body lost balance.
            All of those badly symptoms made me have a weakness. Firstly, lack of sleep cause me feel very exhausted. Even though I was eager to have a sleep, I couldn’t get sleep well because fever. Secondly, I lost my appetite. I didn’t feel hungry although I didn’t eat certain amount of food. In fact, I couldn’t identify different favor of food by my gustation. Because I didn’t eat well, I didn’t have enough energy to move. The weakness even made me not willing to talk. I also become dehydrated. For example, I still felt thirsty even thought I just drank a big bottle of water.
            After a doctor checked me, he said that I had a sun stroke which is very popular illness in such hot summer. He gave me medicine and told me that I have to rest, stay in cool, windy place and drink more water. He reminded that I have to avoid explore in extremely hot sunshine.
            I felt much better after I took the medicine and follow the doctor’s direction second day. My body temperature went down. Finally, I had a good sleep at the first night which I took medicine. When I woke up, I felt my headache was relieved much more. Additionally, there was no dizzy again. My mom prepared green bean soup which is good for summer. She also cooked conge that is easy to swallow and digest. I regained little energy after I slept well and eat some conge.  It took me several days to recover completely. This experience changed my life’s habit in summer. I use sun umbrella and wear sun glasses to prevent explore in summer.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Crystal,

    There is such wonderful imagery in this essay -- I love it! I think that my favorite one is "The fever also made me [to -- you can take this word out] hallucinate that I was walking in a huge desert under the intense heat." I also like the last line of your introduction, "It broke all my good feelings [make this countable noun plural] about summer." What a great line!

    The main question that I have for you is: What were you doing the whole day before you got sunstroke? Were you walking around out in the sun for hours? Didn't you feel really hot and sunburned? That was what I wanted to know as I was reading this essay. Maybe you could mention what you had been doing in one sentence in your introduction.

    Also, be careful with the word "badly" -- remember that it is an adverb, but I saw it used a few times in your essay as an adjective.

    I'm looking forward to your next draft!

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