March 12nd, 2013
Eassy#1
Heidi’s Class
Lesson from having a flu
When I was in middle school, I came down with a flu. In the beginning of it, I thought it was just a common cold, but I was wrong about it. Therefore I learned I should take minor illnesses more seriously.
I remember that was about spring. It started with a bad cold. I got a cough and had a stuffy nose. I couldn’t smell very well during that time. It felt like there were two fingers kept pinching my nose. Also I got a sore throat. My throat was very itchy and aching. Sometimes I coughed up with some sputum. I coughed and coughed a lot more that I realized the condition of my cough has become serious increasingly. Then I took some cough syrup and cold pills to help it. However, they weren’t strong enough and also it was too late to be controlled. Indeed, the second day a flu coming down menacingly. I had bouts of cough; I wasn’t able to stop it. My cough was persistent and uncontrollable. I was like a doll on full clockwork that would never stop. When I coughing, my whole body vibrating with it. It felt like my lungs would have jumped out of my throat. I could feel a powerful hand was trying to push and push harder from inside of my body. I was so tired, and the pain of my throat made me could badly speak.
As a result of those symptoms I couldn’t sleep well. I wake up often in the middle of night. The headache also bothered me from time to time. My head was pounding. It looked like there was a tight rope in my head; every time it tightened that caused every single of my nerves stabbed. That really made me feel awful, but that wasn’t all. Almost at the same time I developed a fever. My temperature was shot up to 39 Celsius quickly. My families had to take care of me in turn. My forehead was too hot and I needed to have a cold towel put on it in order to control the temperature. I was a small bun being in a big steamer waiting to be completely cooked. Having a fever was totally a disaster. One second I was still in furnace sweating a lot, and then next I could feel like being in an icehouse. I could even hear my teeth were fighting to each other. I felt freezing and I curled up like a cabbage. My quilt was so damp because I sweated a lot. If I could smell, it must be the odor of a wet vest after people wear it for exercise in summer. I kept kicking my sheet off and tucking it up. My action definitely couldn't make my situation get better.
Sooner, I got some medicines, some Chinese traditional herbs which were not tasted good at all. It was really bitter and also smelled bad. My mother had to force me drink all of them. Fortunately, it worked. My temperature was getting lower slowly. Although I got a little better appetite, I didn’t eat much. I still felt exhausted all the time, that made me feel I was a deflated balloon. My body was feeble, it seemed like every ounce of my strength has been taken away. When I could get up, I looked the reflection in the mirror. At the first glance, I was kind of couldn’t recognize myself. The face I saw was totally pale and weak. It looked like a dying flower without any of colours.
Few days after took those medicines and pills, I stared feeling better. I coughed less, and actually could sleep better. My energy level was getting higher than earlier. My mother made some broth and some rice gruel. For body’s good hydration, I drank a lot of water every day. I was on the mend gradually. It’s really felt like the heavy burden on my back had been taken little by little. Then, my whole body suddenly got lighter.
When I finally recovered, I was really grateful I could have fresh air to breathe. I appreciated that I could eventually go out instead of stay at home in my bed all day. To have a refreshing expiration was great! I felt I had reborn again. I know better that we shouldn’t underrate any minor illnesses, because even they were not that deadly, they could also result some serious health problems. I hope I will be more careful about it and never get it again.
Hi Viola,
ReplyDeleteWhat a descriptive essay! I love the metaphors that you used as you described your symptoms. Nice work!
One sentence that I find confusing is "I coughed and coughed a lot more that I realized the condition of my cough has become serious increasingly." Can you simplify this and maybe split the idea between two sentences?
Also, be careful of using the verb "to be" in places where you don't need it. Two examples that I found here were: "some Chinese traditional herbs which were not tasted good" and "My temperature was shot up to 39 Celsius quickly." In the first cae, you should replace "were not" with "did not" and in the second sentence, you should just take out "was."
Also, I'm not sure what you mean by the word "sooner" at the beginning of the fourth paragraph. Why is it comparative? Do you just mean "soon"?
This is a very strong first essay!